(no subject)

I haven't posted in a while.

Twelve Angry Jurors is finally over. It went well, and I enjoyed the experience. Definitely a lot of fun, especially working with Tom. He's doing another show here at the end of the year, as a last hurrah before he leaves. I want to be onstage, and let Sylvan SM it (she needs the experience and she wants to.

I'm anxious to get to college, but afraid to leave high school. Theatre here was such an amazing experience. I feel like I'm incredibly in debt to it... As Rebekah put it last year, "I owe this theatre my life; it helped my find mine."

And that's all too true.



...


Now I'm getting all sappy.

But one thing's really bothered me lately. I've been feeling all of these changes inside of me, all these frightening yet exciting changes... Like I'm starting to finally grow up.

Someone the other day at GSA said (when we were talking with this new guy about finding a partner) that "if you're looking for it, you'll find it." And it got me thinking, all this time, I've been wanting it, but not looking for it (that was a sentence doozey for comma splices!). So I decided then to actually look for it, right? Well, something doesn't fit. Although I am enjoying going out more and boy-hunting (if I may call it that), I realize that a boyfriend isn't what is missing in my life.

Part of the puzzle also fell into place when Chewie said the other day that he finally realized the connection between a sound body and sound mind. And I got thinking about this whole mess more.

I've been eating more (and more often) and moving less since Michael left. I think it's some sort of psychological depression I'm going through, separation or whatever. His being gone is really starting to knaw at me.

He called on Thursday right before we opened the house for opening night, and I talked to him for like 15 minutes-- the first time I'd talked to him in like a month. It felt strange. Almost like I was talking to a stranger-- I'd started to get used to his being gone...

Creepy.


One thing he always wanted for me was for me to loose weight and "become healthy." This is something I need to do, because of what he wants, what I want and because of my own health.

Tonight I found my DVD recording of High School Musical that we performed last year... I looked at myself. I remembered that I'd lost some 20 lbs during rehearsal-- dancing for like 3 hours 5 times a week for two months... And I remember being complimented on my weight loss... And then on the DVD I noticed that I was considerably thinner last May than I am now...


...and since Michael left I can actually feel myself put on the weight. It's so bizzare having the actual physical sensation of gaining weight. Really. I'll eat, and eat and eat some more, knowing I shouldn't, and over the past two or so weeks, I can feel the weight add on to me, and I feel my stomach larger than ever. It's absolutely insane.




It's a vicious cycle that's got to quit. Quit it right now. It's almost 1 o'clock in the morning but I am tempted to go outside and start running. I'm literally eating myself to death.

As a present, Tom gave me this beautiful leather journal. I think it's a sign. Chewie's been trying to get me to keep a journal for a while now. I think I'll start writing in it. Y'know, like Bridget Jones. Who knows, maybe by the time Urinetown goes up, I'll be 30 lbs lighter.


It's either that, or continue eating myself to my own premature death...
  • Current Music
    Across the Universe
  • Tags

(no subject)

I feel like throwing up.

I just spent an hour and a half typing up my outline for English, and I was liking it.

Just as I typed my very last edit, my computer locked up completely and I had to restart it.





And I lost the entire thing.

(no subject)

I am obtaining the film Ratatouille through more or less dubious means. Will watch it tonight or this afternoon depending on if I can get it to download faster.

Andrew and Stefani's 15th birthday today. Stefani is on a ski trip with her youth group, and Andrew went to Champs this morning with the Young Marines...

Michael is at Myrtle Beach for the weekend with Jessica...


Michael Jackson died of food poisoning: he at a 12 year old wiener.

The Narration Crackles and Pops

So I haven't posted in a while.

Not much to say. First Urinetown meeting today. I'm very excited that Amy is in it because normally I don't have anyone to talk with really. But it's really nice to have a friend-friend there now for once. Also James is an ASM. and Lauren is SM, so all sorts of people! It's wonderful!

This is like, the coolest thing ever:





Also Amy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4vkZVfzhFy4

(no subject)

Oh My God.

It has taken all day, but I've finally got my iPod to work in Linux!!!! Oh Em Gee!

For those of you, probably just me and maybe Brian, who can appreciate the techno-babble:

Apple decided in the new iPods to lock the iTunes database file- the file that tells the iPod where everything is. You see, the iPod isn't like most music players. It splits up and renames files that you put on it, which is why iTunes is the only program (or so Apple wants you to think) that can put music on your iPod- why you can't just copy over music like every other music player.

In the fifth generation, Apple implimented a rudimentary hash that was easily cracked. This time around, Apple's hash took into account the entire database of the iPod, meaning that the files themselves made up the independent hash- so for example, my iPod's hash was 20MB. If the hash didn't match exactly with the files on the iPod, the iPod says there's no music.


But lukily, some talented cracker out there figured out Apple's algorithm, and released a new version of libgpod, the libraries for Linux that allow reading of iTunes DB files.

Long story short, I've spent all day getting "user-friendly" ubuntu to install this crap from source correctly. And it finally works.


The reason I'm so excited is that I now officially have no reason to have Windows!

(no subject)

So I have a phone now under Michael's plan... actually I've had it for a while. I get unlimited free texting, picture messaging, internet, the works. I love it.


Downside is that tonight we shipped him off. Hung out at the station for a few hours... And now he's on the way to Camp Lejune, and soon enough he'll be on his way for 7 months in that endless war.

He'll be home come December or November. And maybe for a day or two in March.